I am just really tired of messing things up. I am tired of making mistakes. I am tired of forgetting things, making wrong choices, and being imperfect. I know that being human is part of life. And I understand that trials and mistakes are meant to help us learn. I have a very firm knowledge of that. But still. I am getting tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. I learned my lesson the first time. At least I thought so. Until I would do it again.
Sometimes I get confused as to what I was supposed to learn from something. Some things just hurt. And I know I need to change something so that it won’t happen again. But I just don’t know what that is.
Ps… this wasn’t supposed to be an emo post… or a pity-me post. It was slightly a venting post. And one to reflect on.
I. Love. My. Major. I really do. There is something about children that just make me feel so happy. I want to be able to help them just as they help me. Every time I cross paths with a child, I just smile and I forget everything that was worrying me. All I can think of is how precious the individual is in front of me and how I want to do everything I can to make them happy. The thought of being able to help them shape their lives is so exciting. As a teacher, I have the biggest impact on their lives after their families. In some ways, this thought is incredibly intimidating. If I mess up in any way, they will see me. However, if I have the chance to be inspiring to any of them, I going to to the best that I can to be the one to change their lives for the better.
This video was very inspiring to me, and every teacher or inspiring teacher should read:
I am taking a lot of education classes. And a lot of them seem slightly dry and rather abstract. But there are some principles that I have taken from my classes:
1.) Be happy. Kids will see right through you if you don’t try your best to put on a brave and happy face.
2.) Put your teacher’s lense on. See everything around you as though you are a teacher.
Here is my journal on this past weekend. Here is my adventure to Dallas TX to witness one of my best friend’s happiest moments of her life. Erica’s Wedding:
On Friday, we left Provo at 7am. We meant to leave at 630, but we were all running a little late. Cliff, bless his heart agreed to give us a ride. We were worried we were worried that we were going to be late but we got there with like 5 mins to spare. PHEW. Then it was three very long plane rides to Dallas, TX. We flew from SLC to Denver, to Austin to Dallas. We got to Dallas at around 4:30. Where we then got ready for the big fancy rehearsal dinner that Stephen’s parents put together at a very nice restaurant. It was a good dinner. I had Kobe beef and some yummy chocolate and cream roll thing. And watermelon juice… which was quite interesting. And there were some nice words esxchanged, and a picture slideshow (a LOT of the pictures were taken from fb, and from MY albums. It was awesome, ha ha). There was also a very cheesy video from both stephen and erica about why they loved the other. It made me snicker… it was super cheesy. Oh well.
After dinner, we went back to the hotel, where her other TX friends kinda tried to throw her a bachelorette party… but it didn’t really work. Jan and I didn’t really go to it, because we were practicing the song that we were going to sing for the ring ceremony the next day (Erica asked us the day before…). Then we all went to bed around 11:30.
Saturday dawned fairly bright and early. Jan and I got up early ish to get some breakfast then rushed to get ready. We went to the temple a little early to help babysit. I really wished that I could have been able to make it to the actual ceremony, but I couldn’t seeing as how I am not endowed. Oh well. Then it was picture time! And then it was still picture time… and more pictures. Then Jeannine and I went straight from the temple to Gilmer with her family (another 2.5 hours of traveling). When we got there, we went straight to the church and spent another 3 hours or so setting up for the reception and ring ceremony. It was rather tiring.
Then it was time for everything to start. The ceremony outside was beautiful, even though it was raining. It was kinda fun to get to walk down the isle. It was also very cool that Jeannine and I got to sing for it. It wasn’t perfect, but we did alright. We sang Lead Kindly Light. Then the reception was good. There was some good food. And cake. And dancing. When Erica danced with her Dad, I swear I was going to die. I got so emotional and almost started bawling right there. But I luckily held it together, and only sniffled. A lot. Oh I was so close to letting out a sob… I am getting good at holding that stuff in!
Then it was time to go back to Dallas. I slept basically the entire 2.5 hours back to our hotel. And then I had a pretty good, hard sleep that night.
Sunday, we left the hotel at 10am, and landed in Salt Lake at around 6 or so after another 3 long flights.
Overall, it was a very good experience. I sure hope that it meant something to Erica that we were there. Part of me feels like things would have been fine if we hadn’t. She had other friends there, and her new family which is WAY more important than me. But part of me hopes that it truly meant something very much to her.
If nothing else, I am so glad that I got to see her be so happy. She certainly deserves it.
So here’s to you, Stephen and Erica Tanner! Best of wishes and all the happiness in the world to you.